Walking in Light

I had a dream this week that told me "I walk in light."


Which made me think of the bible verse on a gift from my mom which she gave me when I was struggling as a young woman with becoming who I was meant to be, an artist.


The pic is horrible, and the card is now worn, but still one of my most treasured items.  The verse is:

"The light still shines in the darkness and 

the darkness has never put it out." John 1:5

For most of my twenties I dealt with (poorly) depression which could be rooted in genetic gifts from my parents, mourning the loss of my only known parent, my mom, or the usual angsty young adult stuff.  In my thirties I have learned some tools that have allowed me to walk away from depression, as a choice of behavior in my life.  I am simply unwilling to allow myself to go there--I refuse to loose anymore time to depression.  It is a deep dark ugly place, that for me can lead to a lost decade.  So, I work hard anytime it tries to creep back into my life by digging into what my first therapist called, "my tool box".  I fight the creepies back most of the time, and if anything lingers it is for a short time and never to the depths I experienced earlier in my life.  So grateful for that!!


So this dream... this reminder that I walk in light, that I am the light.  It is what I need as I walk on to this new path, playing dodge ball with the doubt trying to overwhelm my confidence.  Last week I discovered that I really would get my Yoga Dream.  First I celebrated, then I panicked.  The "What if?" started popping up.

What if I can't do this?  How will I tell all the people supporting me?

What if I am not a 'good enough' yogini?
What if I can't physically manage 14 days of intense yoga-ing?

What if I get there and they say sorry we made a mistake--we really didn't mean to include you?

 All this and more has rattled around my brain the last week...the ridiculous thoughts of a panicked yogini. I'd like to say that I have put them to rest, but really I am just pulling out my tool box reaching in for yoga, meditation, writing, mindful preparation and the reassurances from loved ones to soothe the rough edges of my anxiety.


I heard a song this morning and when I looked up what Gayatri was about it felt like a perfect match for my mantra of walking in light....

"We meditate on the effulgent glory of the divine Light; 

may he inspire our understanding."  S. Radhakrishnan

deep breath in.... deep breath out.


we walk in light.


many blessing to you and yours today and always.  thanks for reading.